Friday, November 22, 2013

Considerations for my Daughter


It's me.

The one to whom you keep rolling your eyes. 

I know, I know, it doesn't really mean much and truthfully, it doesn't really bother me. We love each other and drive each other crazy concurrently. That will get easier over time, but will always be the case to some degree. Ask your Grandma.

I am seeing so much of myself in you these days, the days you will remember in snippets, for both good and bad reasons. I know these fine speeches of mine are part of what creates the eye rolling epidemic, but since I can't go back and tell myself all of these things I wish I had known in 1987, the best I can do is share them with you.

These are NOT rules, nor are they those things that seem like rules, but which aren't called rules. These are items to be considered and weighed by you, (an almost adult) as you travel through these both tough and fantastic years. Just think about them, m'kay?

  1. The happenings over these next few years will shape who you become so it is critical that you make good decisions...and a few calculated (and hopefully minor) bad ones. That's how you learn the difference. 
  2. That boy that didn't text you back? He'll probably re-think that decision one day, even if not until your 20 year reunion. You will also regret someone you didn't give a second glance as well. 
  3. Set limits early. For whatever. For everything. Know who you are and how you feel about things before you wade in and have to make a decision on the spot. You can always adjust your limits, if you already have some.  
  4. You're a good looking person. So is most everyone. Starting around this age, it will seem like there are a million things wrong with how you look. Every person does this, even 'that girl'. We all have things about ourselves we may not like, so we just have to work with what we DO like, so find some things and focus on them. 
  5. It can feel great to feel like you are at the top of the heap, but sometimes that means someone else is at the bottom. That feeling is fleeting, and you will find yourself on the bottom of someone else's heap sooner or later. So be kind.  
  6.  Want the best for others, even when it isn't easy. Even when they don't deserve it, be happy for them. Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
  7. We are looking at your text messages, social networks and whatever else because it gives us insight into your world and makes sure you are safe online. We both know there is still a lot we DON'T know, and that's ok.
  8. Things that seem defining now won't mean much later on. I swear, no one will ever ask which team you made in a job interview. Just play.
  9. Soon enough, your friends are going to make choices that you don't agree with, and that doesn't mean you have to make the same choice. It also doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with them.Worry for them, but try not to judge. See #3
  10. A lot of drama could be avoided if people just kept their trap shut.

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