Wednesday, November 27, 2013


I'm thankful.

So, so, grateful.

I know I am lucky in ways I don't even fully realize. My crew is healthy and happy and we want for almost nothing. My Mom is cancer-free when she wasn't last year at this time and that is SO BIG, I can't even crack wise about it. She looks great, feels great and I am swimming in gratitude while I think of those who aren't as lucky...or are hoping to be. 

First world thankful-ness and junk. And this stuffs:

Social Media - I has it.
1. Social Media- yep, I said it haters. It makes me happy, mad, annoyed, aggravated and sometimes stay up too late. It also keeps me closely connected with people I was close to in one small sliver of this long life, some I didn't know well in school but should have, and a few who are good friends I have never met. Social media keeps me entertained, informed and provides a (mostly) thoughtful forum for concepts and ideas. This makes all of the duck lips and the occasional inappropriate nonsense tolerable. Communication WIN.

2. Missing people
The Holidays can be are a melancholy time for me. I miss my Dad and brother. I miss being annoyed by them, miss annoying them back. And I am thankful for this? You bet. I have learned over time what a special thing it is to grow up in a close family, with family members who are worth missing. I am so lucky in my unluckiness in this.

 3. Glorious Food
This is the epitome of #firstworldproblems for me. My decisions around how to prepare the T-Day meal harbor on embarrassing. I have made turkey every conceivable way except fricassee, which I need to look up. We have variations of the same items on the same table because we all want what we want. We make extra so we can have leftovers AND discuss making extra so we can have the adequate leftovers even after we share with our family. I know there are many in my own town who are struggling to make daily meals happen. For plenty, I am thankful.

4. Mae. 
Because, Mae.
No offense to others, but Mae is my favorite. She wins. She loves me, she gets me, she tolerates me, she gave me her genes (we used to be the same height but she shrank). She is bossy and wise and good. Her only fault is that she lives just far enough away that you can't make it there and back in a weekend. I am thankful every day that she is still only a phone call away from me at 94 years old. I am not sure there is a time we have spoken from childhood to now that she hasn't told me I am special. It makes me want to believe her.

5. Coffee Dates
I love going for coffee, especially for someone who doesn't drink it (tea nerd here). The best thing to combat a shitty week is a coffee date with one of my peeps who makes me laugh and tells me to get over myself.
I have a rule that I won't turn down an invitation from someone who wants to talk up an idea over coffee, and I have rarely been disappointed in this rule. The last time I took a chance on a stranger (with ideas I wasn't too sure about) who wanted to talk it up over coffee, I joined his election committee, and made a good friend. He won.

6. Nutty pets
I threaten our pets often that I am getting rid of them, but I don't think they believe me (We used to similarly tell our kids we were selling the other one to the gypsies. It's like that.). These knuckleheads are just like the rest of us with all of their idiosyncrasies. Water obsession, dogorexia, murderous behavior, and stealing. The lizard finally packed her rock and moved into a school classroom where she can run free. Who can blame her? It's a zoo in here.

 7. This.
I don't even have an exact name for it, but its about friends. And I am thankful.

8. Red Velvet Cake - But only my mom's recipe. You can keep your cream cheese frosting. I prefer the light and fluffy Crisco frosting which will likely lead to clogged arteries. Every year, she makes me one. Mom = cake=love.

9. Wyoming
This is MY state, and many of yours as well. It isn't definable as any one thing, which is what makes it great. If you're new, welcome. If you moved here 9-12 months ago so you could run for office in what felt like an easy-to-win flyover state, that's not ok. Behave accordingly.

10. Stuff

There are more things of course, like the Baboos, epidurals and headline news. There's always more, always things to be thankful for. And those things always, ALWAYS outweigh the things that are hard. Always.

I am thankful for that.   

Friday, November 22, 2013

Considerations for my Daughter


It's me.

The one to whom you keep rolling your eyes. 

I know, I know, it doesn't really mean much and truthfully, it doesn't really bother me. We love each other and drive each other crazy concurrently. That will get easier over time, but will always be the case to some degree. Ask your Grandma.

I am seeing so much of myself in you these days, the days you will remember in snippets, for both good and bad reasons. I know these fine speeches of mine are part of what creates the eye rolling epidemic, but since I can't go back and tell myself all of these things I wish I had known in 1987, the best I can do is share them with you.

These are NOT rules, nor are they those things that seem like rules, but which aren't called rules. These are items to be considered and weighed by you, (an almost adult) as you travel through these both tough and fantastic years. Just think about them, m'kay?

  1. The happenings over these next few years will shape who you become so it is critical that you make good decisions...and a few calculated (and hopefully minor) bad ones. That's how you learn the difference. 
  2. That boy that didn't text you back? He'll probably re-think that decision one day, even if not until your 20 year reunion. You will also regret someone you didn't give a second glance as well. 
  3. Set limits early. For whatever. For everything. Know who you are and how you feel about things before you wade in and have to make a decision on the spot. You can always adjust your limits, if you already have some.  
  4. You're a good looking person. So is most everyone. Starting around this age, it will seem like there are a million things wrong with how you look. Every person does this, even 'that girl'. We all have things about ourselves we may not like, so we just have to work with what we DO like, so find some things and focus on them. 
  5. It can feel great to feel like you are at the top of the heap, but sometimes that means someone else is at the bottom. That feeling is fleeting, and you will find yourself on the bottom of someone else's heap sooner or later. So be kind.  
  6.  Want the best for others, even when it isn't easy. Even when they don't deserve it, be happy for them. Bitterness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies.
  7. We are looking at your text messages, social networks and whatever else because it gives us insight into your world and makes sure you are safe online. We both know there is still a lot we DON'T know, and that's ok.
  8. Things that seem defining now won't mean much later on. I swear, no one will ever ask which team you made in a job interview. Just play.
  9. Soon enough, your friends are going to make choices that you don't agree with, and that doesn't mean you have to make the same choice. It also doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with them.Worry for them, but try not to judge. See #3
  10. A lot of drama could be avoided if people just kept their trap shut.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

I'm Thankful! (Except When I'm Not)

So....I have been hiding out, but have been challenged by one of my pals over at I'll Have It On the Side (go look) to write another post about what I am NOT thankful for this Thanksgiving season. 

I am so frigging thankful for my #firstworldproblems, I can't even tell ya. Thankful most of each and every day, except when I am being a whiny baby. Which happens. 

I realize this is going to land wrong with a few of you and some of you will think I am talking about you. Truthfully...I am. BUT, only in a general way, and always with me realizing fully that I have a counter-annoying habit which makes you want to write/rant about me. Feel free - It's OK. It takes all kinds, peeps. 

So...there's the disclaimer, suckas. Here is my list:


A Lot of Layers List of Grimy Unthankfulness

1. Video Conferencing/Wrinkles
What? I'm listening!

My new job involves many, MANY hours of online video conferencing. I have learned to love the improved communication, but what I do not love is looking at my face while my mouth is talky-talking, my eyes are bugging and squinting and my face is wrinkling. Do I really look that way? Yikes. I really have to resist pulling my face skin taut while I am on the call, which would be distracting to the others on the call....but would make me look *so* less almost-forty.

2. Christmas in October
Knock that shit off Retailers! Give the turkey his 15 minutes, wouldja?

3. Junk email
Amazon, do I need to hear from you every three minutes? Thirty-One auto-emailer! Sweet baby Jesus, how many times do I have to unsubscribe?? 

4. Tree-murdering snow
Snow is supposed to be soft and lovely, falling gently and dusting the rooftops and junk. This tree-splitting nonsense? Ain't nobuddy got time for this. My trees aspire to be more than bushes. Go home snow, you're drunk. 
5. Exercise cults
There, I said it. Exercise does a body good (I hear) and it's great to be health-conscious. But obsessed? Cult-ish? It feels like I am surrounded by Exercise Moonies, but instead of handing out flowers at the airport, they are doing push-ups. Talk about something else. The world is a big place. Moderation and balance folks. (Stop planking! That isn't what I meant by balance!!!) sigh. 

6. SnapChat
I enjoy stalking monitoring my teenager's social networks and damned if SnapChat won't cooperate. I can see lots of messages but can't open them. What's the point of a social network that won't let you look at a message more than a few seconds???? 

7. When blogging gets Stoopid 
Some of my more serious bloggy friends sometimes seem to compete with each other and can appear over-invested in their 'blog-persona' and the popularity contest of blogging than seems to make sense. So..yeah.

8. The Cable Company
I wanted to reduce my cable (and my bill) since we are using Netflix, Amazon and Hulu. THRICE, I have had a conversation which in a nutshell tells me that because I am in a special program which will end in January, I am getting a great deal! And, if I reduce my package, I will end up paying $more-dollars and if I keep the same package, I will pay $more-dollars. If I add a phone line, I will pay $less-dollars, but still $more-dollars than I am paying now. Sigh. I think they are training their representatives at Bath and Body Works. And both are out-smarting me. 

9. Facebook/Pinterest recipe shares

Seriously people. Just click the link and save it. Or send it to your own mail. Or stop posting 1,000 recipes we both know we'll probably never find again on the book of Face. 

10. People who have their shit together
Gawd, I am hugely annoyed and insanely jealous of people who have clean cars, don't forget their shopping list, keep all of their laundry done and know what day they are supposed to bring snacks, any given moment. What are you people, robots? I continue to tell myself that my lack of these skills is just part of my fun quirkiness, but a few days ago I spilled gum squares on the floor of my car....and today i ate one because I needed gum. Help me.

11. Bonus Unthankfulness - Selfies
Peeps, I *knows* you need a good profile pic or four to choose from. We all do! A few Selfies with friends, solid! But the daily individual selfie makes me worry about the state of society; a place where instead of using the technology of photography to capture what you SEE, it's all about seeing YOURSELF first. It's the Sistine Chapel vs. "me kicking it at the Sistine Chapel..! ((Peace sign)) #vacay #illegalselfie #seeingtheworld"

Feel me? Enough, really.