Monday, January 28, 2013

L is for Liebster


Its snowing today and I am glad to be INSIDE. Its nice in here and I am getting some shiz 

done up in this mofo. For reasons unknown, Blogger is whack today and has spacing issues. Just go wit it.

I have been taking a 'Facebreak' the past few days since frankly, I am spending way too 

much time facebooking bloggers about blogging and writing than I am actually blogging 

or writing. I wondered just what I might get done if I stopped mindlessly scrolling through 

Facebook pages for a few days. 

Also, I am starting to think that the concept of knowing EVERYONE's opinions on 

EVERYTHANG and then shotgunning my own out there is probably overrated. Maybe I 

should just think what I think, and let others think what they think and let's call the whole 

thing off. 

In just a few days, I finished a few assignments so my experiment is proving to be 


Until.....I got a comment on an older blog post...distraction! Yay! I was su-prised. It was 

from the lovely Modern Mama Dramas, who is much younger than me, but I like anyway. 

Go check her out; she is growing a new little being and has agreed to be my 'off the 

sauce" partner. Don't tell her I already cheated. Urg

She was giving my lame ass an award! Pretty nice of her, considering I have been using my 

freelance gig links as blogs for a while, which is technically cheating. She is too good to 

me. are the rules. There are always rules. 

1. Each blogger should post 11 random facts about themselves.
2. Answer the questions the tagger has set for you, then create 11 new questions for the bloggers you pass the award to.
3. Choose 11 new bloggers (with less than 200 followers) to pass the award to and link them in your post.
4. Go back to their page and tell them about the award.
5. No tag backs.

Have you ever moved away from "home"?

I did, and I think it should be required.  I moved from my small town in Wyoming to 

Guantanamo Bay, Cuba about 8 months after I graduated High School, which was and about 

7 months after I got married to Special Agent, without a shotgun, even. (Ain't love grand?)

2. What are your hobbies, besides blogging?

Hmmm. Sadly, Facebook has been a hobby, but I am officially knocking that shit off. I like 

to read, and I suppose one would say that i am ridiculously addicted to Google research. 

Whattanerd. I don't need things to do, i can spaz out on anything. Right now, it's THIS (Click word).

3. Do you go on family vacations; which was your favorite?

We go every few years to a sunny locale with a national language we don't speak. The last 

one was to the Dominican Republic. I highly recommend. We also go camping every year 

to the Big Horn Mountains, and I have to say that is my favorite. Dear Wyoming, I love 


4. Any big plans for 2013?

Not really. While I like change A LOT, I don't really plan ahead about it. I live in the now. 

5. If you could have any animal, real or imaginary, for a pet, what would you choose and 


I want this baby Giraffe. Why?? Uh...duh, because it's awesome. 

6. What's your favorite book/movie?

I like too many to name and it depends on my weird mood of the day. I would be suspect 

of anyone who has just ONE. 

7. It's raining and the kids are home from school, WHAT DO YOU DO?

We like to watch bad TV. The baboos aren't afraid to lay low, like their mother. If we tire 

of that, we'd probably cook. 

8. If you could time-travel, would you go back to the past or into the future?

I hate rules, so I say BOTH. Past to say hi to my Dad and ask him to stop smoking that day. 

I would also like to see my parents when they were young. I would probably totally McFly 

that shit and erase my existence. Fail.

9. Do you censor your posts based on your followers (like family or certain friends)?

Nah, those who know me, know me. Most like me anyway, even if I am one of the few 

social liberals in my state. 

10. Will you keep blogging?

That's a good question. I have become terrible at reading blogs, which is what made me 

start writing one in the first place! I have been thinking at times that blogging can feel 

like a job, a responsibility. One that I don't get paid for but which can impede that which 

I AM paid for. My Spock brain struggles with that computation at times. I will do it as long 

as its fun, but will never forget that the blogosphere isn't real life.

11. You get to meet a role model or idol: who is it and why?

I am not really a fan type, and try to get my role models from my real life, so usually know 

them. It would probably be someone like the Iron Jawed Angels

This is an excellent movie about them, see it! 

So....11 random factoids about moi. I am pretty random, so there. 

Well, I just told you all a bunch of crud above, I feel spent. Be right back, I am 

taking a nap. Just kidding. 

1. I don't drink coffee. I can't stand it. I only drink tea, and only a kind which your 

Grandma and the local pancake house carry. I have tried all of the chi-chi varieties, but I 

always come back to the one with the stupidest name in creation; I don't even like to say 


2. I have a twin sister, who is a much nicer person than I am. I am opinionated and I try to 

push her around. I imagine when she hangs up the phone with me, she occasionally flips 

me the bird. And I don't blame her. 

3. I wake up at 5:55 almost every day so I can lay in bed and watch a whole lotta news. 

While I check my Twitter and read articles. 

4. On one of our first dates, I made Special Agent watch a Manson- family documentary. I 

am surprised he ever came back. Romantic, right? His own weird streak must have kept 

him hanging on.

5. For a time, I used to check the bathroom from behind the shower curtain obsessively 

while showering, something I blame on Rockwell. One day, i just stopped. 

6. I am married to a former Marine-turned-Special-Agent, but I am really a pacifist. 

7. I have no idea who Liebster is. 

8. I sometimes cheat at Words With Friends. But usually because I am too busy to take the 

time to think it out. Fuck, did I really just say I am TOO BUSY FOR SCRABBLE? 

9. I was voted 'most blunt' of my Senior class. Is that a compliment? 

10. My brother was gay and died of AIDS. I have a special needs niece who has half a brain 

and outsmarts me on a regular basis. If you are mean or nasty about gay rights or say the 

words "fag" or "retarded", I will fuck you up. I learned to not say those things as a part of 

speech, and SO CAN YOU. 

11. I am under-emotional and it can make me seem cold, but I am actually astute at 

understanding all elements of a situation and have a lot of empathy. Just because I don't 

burble over with emotion doesn't mean I don't have any. I am just not sharing them with 


OK! I did it!! 

Now, I would like to tag the following, who are my peeps and are also funny bloggers, 

who like me, struggle to blog it out regularly. Ok, only some of us. Well, really just me. 

Here are their well thought out questions:

1.Where do you do your writing? 

2. Do you have aspirations for a book, or just dicking around? 

3. What do you think non-bloggers, family members and friends think about blogging?

4. Do you think Facebook can also hinder blogging, as well as help spread your name 

5. Do you like sandwiches? 

6. How are you different from those in your peer group? 

7. Are you on Twitter and actually using it? 

8. Do you read a lot of other blogs, or just use yours as a means for your own thoughts?

9. If you could be a fruit, which one would you choose and why? 

10. Do you think these awards are sometimes too long and time-consuming? 

11. How do you think these arbitrary numbers, like 11 are chosen? 

12. Did you know I was a rebel? 

Reptiles in the Ice Cream

Musings Of Munch

I'll Have It on the Side

The Way I See It...

The Loaded Handbag

Day In and Day Out

Friday, January 18, 2013

I'm Off the Sauce...

That's it.
I'm through.

With drinking, that is. No, don't try to talk me out if if just because it improves my personality. (It improves yours too, y'know.)

I just can't do it anymore, my people. It's time to throw the towel in on casual drinking. And heavy drinking.

I am not a beer swiller, so hanging up my red solo cup is just fine with me.

Every time I have ever done shots, I want to be shot out of a cannon at the onset, but feel like I have BEEN shot the next morning.

But wine...I love her. Especially in red. Especially from Oregon. But wine is like a frenemy; nice to my face but kissing my boyfriend behind my back. I have been told it is called RWH (red wine headache; Google it, yo) but it gets me in every color.

So, that has basically left me with vodka, which I pronounce 'Wodka' when I drink it, because by three I am walking and talking like a Russian mail-order bride.

Wodka has been ok as of late, dressed as a Moscow Mule. Wodka, lime and ginger beer dressed in a copper mug. It feels like summer every day. Yum.

But even Wodka has turned on me, making me have a headache almost immediately. Tsk...Just like the others. Wah.

So go on, booze hounds; live it up. I'll drive your drunk asses home.

Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Matt Damon is Ruining My Day

Hi there. I am getting my blog on at the Wyoming Policy Institute today, railing about among other things, Matt Damon.

How could I ever be pissed at Matt Damon you ask??


Go over for a look. I'll wait.

Matt! Stop being a dick! (click here)

Open invite to Matt to come to Wyoming and tell our fine citizens that we don't care about our air, land, water or wildlife.

Those are fighting words, Damon - The Antelope

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Yeah..Happy New Year and Junk

I want to be sunshine-y.
I do.
I said I DO.

Trouble is, I don't feel sunshine-y. I feel a little like...
Smog. Mixed with a little acid rain.

This Christmas was suck-ariffic with my mom in the hospital, being tortured by the side effects of the chemo medicine already in her system.

Second worst Christmas on record. And people wonder why I am a grinch.

Anyway, the holidays are over and the new year is here. But my mom is still in the hospital, and still feels like crap. She is napping now, and I am happy she is resting. But I wish she could eat more and not feel un-sunshiny.

So I feel like smog.

I could give two shits about people's resolutions to exercise more, eat Paleo or stop doing crack. (Ok, the last one would be good, carry on).

I just want my mom to get better and get the hell out of here. I want to see my mom pissed off and raging against the effects of this miserable shit she is enduring, even if that means she yells a little. Even at me, eek. What I don't want is her to feel sad and helpless. Because that makes me feel sad and helpless. And smoggy.

I want to stop wearing this fucking face mask, which makes it hard to breathe, or to eat cookies.

Although I manage.

So...sunshine-y? Not me, not today.

Until then, I have cookies.