Small Town Girl in Tiny Town

I was born in a small town.
(Me and John Cougar Mellencamp)

This one had the least bullet holes...

I used to travel A LOT for work, and actually, a little too much, which is why I decided to go the consulting route. My travels took me to fun and interesting places like Houston, Oklahoma City, Santa Fe (a favorite!), etc.

But mostly, my travel took me to tiny towns, even smaller than the one I live in. We are talking, 10,000 population towns.

With no malls. No escalator laden department stores (OK, maybe one, but it was sad, with no escalator..and no public bathroom)

Not me, but it probably should be. 

With no Walmart. (Who am I kidding? I think they all had a Walmart.)

But most sadly...

had no Starbucks.
:-(


I have built a weird quirk about visiting small towns. I like to shop there. Its so random. They have everything...and nothing.

In last week's jaunt, I stoked my quirky obsession of going to obscure discount stores, like Pamida, Alco, etc. (Do they have these or DID they 20 years ago in your tiny town? Holla..) There is something so pleasingly depressing about these crowded, dingy retail finds. Especially when there is no bar in your hotel.

I half expected to see the Brady Bunch in here..

As I was heading into the store among a gale force wind (typical), I overheard a woman talking to another couple in the wind break entryway of the store. I smiled as I eavesdropped:




Hugely pregnant lady:  My guts had been killing me, y'know?

Couple: ((Nodding))

Lady:  So the doc said he would take a look. He put the ultrasound thing on my belly.

Couple:  ((More nodding))

Lady:  "So, I tell the doc "are you kidding me? and the doc goes "look right there...and you could see the head, the legs..EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT!

Couple:  "No way..."

Lady: I said "Oh my Gawd...get me the phone, I need to call my husband.."

sllllooooooowwww smiiille as I strolled by..

The first bit of creepy goodness is that the place is just PACKED with shit. Stuffed. Seasonal junk is stacked hip deep much too early or way too late for the season. This past week was lawn furniture and Easter baskets, during a blizzard. Most of it half unpacked. It looks like a tornado came through here. From Mr. MacGregor's garden...party.



Some other tidbits:

 - There is food available in brands I have never heard of before. I recognize the food, it's regular things like brownies, and pancakes, but they appear to have been packaged...in 1978.

 - There is one crazy messy sale aisle that has everything from tampons (from 1978) to lawn sprinklers...

 - The place is bursting with polyester...one match and the whole place would go up. It makes me feel itchy.

This lighting is perfect!

The two teenage boys hanging around in there were the only pulse that existed in the whole place besides mine and theirs were a tad on the slow side. I am guessing weed, or just complete and utter boredom. It was eerily quiet. I think they thought I was a strange bird, scouring every section in the store as if I had been living on an island for the past 10 years. I was a Caveman from 1978, coming to claim my brownie mix, and see what's new in power tools and cheap thread count bedding.

Squint...it says Pamida

I bought a couple of comic books for the Baboos and some licorice sticks (from 1978) and got out of Dodge.   But not before i winked at the check out boy. You know I did it........