I am still in bed, and have a headache so I must apologize for this blackberry-written-Excedrin-Migraine induced post. I copied this from a 13-times-forwarded email from my sassy cousin Ammaaayyy. It made me laugh. I read it several times to decide if it was inappropriate to post and then decided my readers can handle it..hopefully blind people aren't reading my blog..and if you like Nickelback...well, you have bigger problems. I have no idea who the writer is, so apologies for the lack of credit where credit is due.
Happy Wednesday from under the blankets with a bed full of kids and dogs. (The cat got pissed and left)
We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.
Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.
You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...
So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
Dear Windshield Wipers,
Can't touch this.
That Little Triangle
There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.
PS, you let go
Dear girls who have been dumped,
There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.
I liked it, so I put a ring on it.
Dear Fox News,
So far, no news about foxes.
Sincerely, Stevie Wonder
Sincerely, The World
Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
Please make one for every skin color.
Sincerely, Black people
I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.
Sincerely, Sarah Palin
Dear Osama Bin Laden,
Sincerely, United States
Dear World of Warcraft,
Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.
Sincerely, Parents Everywhere
What was your power again?
Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies
Dear Global Warming,
You're the best imaginary friend ever!
Sincerely, Al Gore
Dear Ugly People,
Dear Katy Perry,
I liked the kiss too.
Sincerely, Justin Beiber
Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because
some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
Dear White People,
Don't you just hate immigrants?
Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You
piece of shut.
Every iPhone User
Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,
Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?
At least you get picked up...
The Girls of Jersey Shore
It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
Dear Dr. Phil,
Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I
was here first.