Wednesday, March 30, 2011

this post is so lazy, I am not even going to capitalize the title

I am still in bed, and have a headache so I must apologize for this blackberry-written-Excedrin-Migraine induced post. I copied this from a 13-times-forwarded email from my sassy cousin Ammaaayyy. It made me laugh. I read it several times to decide if it was inappropriate to post and then decided my readers can handle it..hopefully blind people aren't reading my blog..and if you like Nickelback...well, you have bigger problems. I have no idea who the writer is, so apologies for the lack of credit where credit is due.

Happy Wednesday from under the blankets with a bed full of kids and dogs. (The cat got pissed and left)


Dear Noah,

We could have sworn you said the ark wasn't leaving till 5.

Sincerely,

Unicorns


Dear Icebergs,

Sorry to hear about the global warming. Karma's a bitch.

Sincerely,

The Titanic


Dear America,

You produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.

Sincerely,

Canada


Dear Yahoo,

I've never heard anyone say, "I don't know, let's Yahoo! it..." just saying...

Sincerely,

Google


Dear 2010,

So I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!

Sincerely,

1985

Dear Windshield Wipers,

Can't touch this.

Sincerely,

That Little Triangle


Dear Rose,

There was definitely room on that Door for the both of us.

Sincerely,

Jack

PS, you let go


Dear girls who have been dumped,

There are plenty of fish in the sea... Just kidding! They're all dead.

Sincerely,

BP


Dear Saturn,

I liked it, so I put a ring on it.

Sincerely,

God


Dear Fox News,

So far, no news about foxes.

Sincerely,

Unimpressed


Dear jf;ldsfa/kvsmmklnn,

Please lknvfdmv.xvn.

Sincerely, Stevie Wonder


Dear Nickleback,

That's enough.

Sincerely, The World


Dear Skin-Colored Band Aids,

Please make one for every skin color.

Sincerely, Black people


Dear Scissors,

I feel your pain.....no one wants to run with me either.

Sincerely, Sarah Palin


Dear Osama Bin Laden,

Marco....

Sincerely, United States


Dear World of Warcraft,

Thank you for ensuring my son's virginity.

Sincerely, Parents Everywhere


Dear Batman,

What was your power again?

Sincerely, Superman


Dear Customers,

Yes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.

Sincerely, Nail Salon Ladies


Dear Global Warming,

You're the best imaginary friend ever!

Sincerely, Al Gore


Dear Ugly People,

You're welcome.

Sincerely, Alcohol


Dear Katy Perry,

I liked the kiss too.

Sincerely, Justin Beiber


Dear World,

Please stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars ends there because

some Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?

Sincerely,

The Mayans


Dear White People,

Don't you just hate immigrants?

Sincerely,

Native Americans


Dear iPhone,

Please stop spellchecking all of my rude words into nice words. You

piece of shut.

Sincerely,

Every iPhone User


Dear Giant Spider on the Wall,

Please die. Please die. Please die. Please die. CRAP! Where did you go?

Sincerely,

Terrified


Dear Trash,

At least you get picked up...

Sincerely,

The Girls of Jersey Shore


Dear Man,

It's cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?

Sincerely,

Elephant


Dear Dr. Phil,

Look man, there's only room for one fake doctor in this world and I

was here first.

Sincerely,

Dr. Pepper

9 comments:

Danger Boy said...

Very entertaining, thanks for sharing.
Also, I hope you feel better quite soon.

The Mitzel Family said...

OH my gosh! I SOOOOO needed that today. Ah-thank you! I hope you begin to feel better!

Anonymous said...

Truly LOL. My kid keeps saying what's so funny?

Elle said...

Oh my God!!! I can't stop laughing!!! I don't know which is my favorite?! THANK YOU for posting this! I can't wait to read them to my husband. : )

Ute said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA...so stealing some of these. ;o)


Feel better soon. x

Cyn said...

It's 4am -- my daughter is WIDE awake -- I needed this laugh -- thanks!!!

Thanks for stopping by and following my blog! Returning the love...
♥cyn♥
The Purple Goddess

Nicki said...

I ADORED this.

Jones Family said...

Thank you! I needed a laugh today!

http://msjanetjones.blogspot.com/

Jonsie~

windybot said...

I didn't really laugh until the iPhone and the giant spider on the wall. Cuz any size spider on the wall in this house is apparently GIANT!