I'm Off the Sauce...

That's it.
I'm through.

With drinking, that is. No, don't try to talk me out if if just because it improves my personality. (It improves yours too, y'know.)

I just can't do it anymore, my people. It's time to throw the towel in on casual drinking. And heavy drinking.

I am not a beer swiller, so hanging up my red solo cup is just fine with me.

Every time I have ever done shots, I want to be shot out of a cannon at the onset, but feel like I have BEEN shot the next morning.

But wine...I love her. Especially in red. Especially from Oregon. But wine is like a frenemy; nice to my face but kissing my boyfriend behind my back. I have been told it is called RWH (red wine headache; Google it, yo) but it gets me in every color.

So, that has basically left me with vodka, which I pronounce 'Wodka' when I drink it, because by three I am walking and talking like a Russian mail-order bride.

Wodka has been ok as of late, dressed as a Moscow Mule. Wodka, lime and ginger beer dressed in a copper mug. It feels like summer every day. Yum.

But even Wodka has turned on me, making me have a headache almost immediately. Tsk...Just like the others. Wah.

So go on, booze hounds; live it up. I'll drive your drunk asses home.