This week, The Red Writing Hood asked me to envision “making it big.” So big, in fact, that my great novel (yeah, right) is being made into a movie – my task was to envision the song that would be playing during the pivotal scene of a movie based on your novel . . . once you have the song set, write that scene.
In 300 words.
Of course, I went over. Like I care; I'm FAMOUS, people. Get me a Perrier.
((Click PLAY ABOVE))
Widescreen view of the open plain. The golden sun is sweeping over the late summer landscape, giving everything the look of morning, renewal. The camera picks up a car traveling down a 2 lane highway. A conversation is heard, growing more audible as the camera slowly zooms into the car as the opening credits fade in and out.
With the music and the garbled conversation in the background, the camera looms over the passenger seat area full of maps, a box of crackers, giant chai tea in the cup holder, unopened bottle of champagne sticking out of the mess, candy, gum wrappers, laptop computer bursting with paper, general messiness. Music fades as voices get louder in car.
Talking to speakerphone in car. ((excited)) I know.... I KNOW!
It's spectacular, it's fantastic, I am dyyyying of jealousy. Tell me all of it. Tell me EV-RE-THANG....what did Special Agent Say? What did you say? Who called you?
(quoting movie) "You must chill. You must chill. I have hidden your keys."
((laughing)) Ok, chilling. I am just so happy for you.
Well, the post had been getting a lot of traffic and frankly, I was a little surprised since it was a thrown together mess. But, apparently it hit a nerve somewhere and Shazam! I am driving to Denver to fly into LA for a meeting. Their girl called my gi.., er, me.
Random. WHAT in hell do you wear to a meeting with movie producers?
Yeah…that’s a problem. I don’t know why they don’t give you a stylist BEFORE you make it, or rather as you are TRYING to make it. That is when you really need it. The humidity is going to make my hair look like Rosanne Roseannadanna, dressed in a bad suit. I hope those What Not To Wear freaks are lurking around the office and snatch me up. Ugh - I can’t think about it. I guess writers can be ugly.
Stop it! You aren’t ugly. Besides, it might be refreshing to see someone with real breasts and their own hair. But to be safe, be sure to wear a push up bra.
(laughing) I am giving a shout out to the "organic look". Organic is SO NOW, you know.
Hahaha…you’ll be fine. ((phone crackling)) Quit being so hard on yourself! ((Service getting worse)) You’re AWE..(line crackles out).
((Frowning at broken connection and then smiles lightly, finishing friend #1’s word))..SOME.
The music returns lightly, as if on the radio. The Onion hums along to the tune, substituting the words “You’re awesome” for the lyrics.
You’re Awesome…youuuuu’re awesome. Awesome..awwwww.some. You’re-awesome-you’re awesome.....awesome-awesome-awesome-awesome....
The Onion stops singing but continues to tap inn rhythm on the steering wheel, staring out the window to the open plain. She’s smiling, still musing about being awesome.
((sighing, says quietly.)) I guess she’s right; I’m kinda awesome.
(as the Onion is smiling dreamily, the car starts to shimmy, noises erupt and she stops smiling and grips the wheel as she maneuvers the car to the side of the road. The camera angle switches to the the tire, spinning in strips, around the wheel. The car stops.
Last scene is of The Onion, standing in the open prairie on the side of the road, thumb out.
((mutters)) I’m awesome.
Fade to black.
Ahem. Some of the possibilities to play The Onion: