Tuesday, February 8, 2011

I Was Tagged! (Well, Sort Of...)

 I was tagged in a round-about way by the very clever Dangerous Leanings, who was tagged by Jumble Mash to answer: What 5 things do you not leave home without? I will follow DL's lead and not tag anyone since A) I don't know how exactly; and B) only my Mom reads my blog. If you want to list your items in the comments (Mom), I'd love to read 'em. 

I am somewhat scattered, so there are times when I leave whatever I needed behind, which sucks. However, I NEVER (OK, rarely) leave the house without the following.

He might. You don't know...
1) The Crackberry -  I am no longer important to ANYONE, yet I am still carrying that thing like my third child. On the rare occasion that I don't, someone always asks me to look something up, or tries to call to tell me I have won something grand (OK, not that last part). The same people who enjoy making fun of my crackberry addiction are always the same ones who are sad and blue when my addiction is not available to help them. 

Supercalifragilistic bag, Mary!
 2) The Mary Poppins Purse - This item feels like the flirting with the UPS man kind of cheating. It is really a catch all for 10,000 random items so it doesn't seem right to list it as one item. But, I am going to list it anyway, big boy.. (coy wink). The MPP is so vast that to find most items, one has to literally stick their arm in up to the bicep and fish in a counter-clockwise pattern until they feel what seems like it might be the item they are looking for. I have tried to write many times with the travel hand sanitizer, and no matter how many times I feel the cold hard steel of the business card holder (gotcha), I think it is the mirror compact.  TSA loves the MPP and uses it as a training aid. The MPP has no real shape, so at times it is hanging half open like a gutted dinosaur. It isn't elegant. My elegant and sleek bag is just too damn small.  It won't hold a coat rack.

See that little baby purse laying down?
That's it! Shh, you'll scare it away...
3) The Purselet - Those who know me know that within the realm of the MPP resides the purselet. A 6 x 6 inch wonder that holds credit cards, punch cards for the unknown, change, business cards (mine and those I am supposed to call), random things I don't want to lose, etc.  The purselet can go out without the MPP, but the MPP does not travel without the purselet, since it holds all of the legal tender. The most beautiful and functional aspect of the purselet is the short shoulder strap. It allows me to wear this tiny little wallet where i can hold it close to me and will not lay it down while I am digging through the half-off Christmas candy bin. It's beautiful. It's wonderful. It's magical. It's the PURSELET.

Hint: Solo cups make great arm bands.
4)  A Notebook - Not THE NOTEBOOK, Ryan Gosling fans. My Notebook. Not chock full of details of a life forgotten, but moreso, details I better not forget. Anyone who finds it will think a schizophrenic wrote the notes, since it includes everything from random food item lists to website concepts to tic tac toe games, X'ed out by my children. There are phone numbers scribbled in the margins, some upside down. There are papers hanging out of the notebook that I am certain should have been attended to by now. The current notebook has Wonder Woman on it, and its my favorite. It's nicer looking replacement is a lovely patterned portfolio with a magnetic clasp. It's fancy with no guts hanging out, but its not Wonder Woman.

The top pair are the ones I wear, me and Jenny. Bend them up
a little...toss them across the parking lot a few times...
Yes, it's them!!
5) My J-Lo's - Since I hit 30, I have been addicted to sunglasses. Although it is not helping me in my anti aging process one bit, I seem to be turning into a vampire that can't stand the light (Too bad I am team Jacob). No matter how late I am, or how many times I have screeched like a howler monkey at the kids to hurry up, I will go back in for the glasses. The J-Lo's were born from losing my other glasses while on a long road to trip to nowhere, MT. I left before the sun came up, so by the time I realized the glasses were MIA, so was I...and the sun was like FIRE as I headed down the road. I happened to find a Walmart that had an Optical center, and hence the J-Lo line of sunglasses. They are sort of purple, which is not me, but options were limited. I liked them so well that when I lost THAT pair, I went right back to the Walmarket for another. I will forever think of sunglasses as J-Lo's from this point on. 

Ok folks, nothing exciting or scandalous....that I know of anyway. I feel nervous when i dig too deep. Even the purse has a lot of layers.  


Jumble Mash said...

Loving that Wonder Woman notebook. I think I need one.

Danger Boy said...

I laughed out loud at the "gutted dinosaur" line. Well done!

TCA1974 said...

Very funny loved it all! I couldn't think of 5 things I won't leave home without most the time I do have my phone (not a crackberry) and a purse!