The Suspense is Terrible...I Hope It'll Last..

I likes to make new friends.
It's a layer, yo.

People are interesting creatures - all a slightly different hot mess of their own making, just like moi.

Neato.

But I wouldn't exactly call myself "friendly". And apparently, neither would a new online friend of a friend, who recently described me as being "nice like Gene Wilder in Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory..".

Say WHUT??

I needed to think on this a minute. Willy Wonka? From Wonkaland? I made a little table to compare and contrast:

(Of course I have things to do, why do you ask?)

Willie Wonka	The Onion at A Lot of Layers
Frizzy hair	Curly hair which tends toward frizziness
Crazy eyes	Crazy eye (in photos I always appear stoned)
Condescending	Condescending..,duh
Secretly mean to kids	Only really likes own kids
Aloof	Emotionally cut off
Flips out on the boat ride	Flips out when she finds one glove
Eats a candy teacup	Drinks tea, does not eat cup. Usually
Shares life lessons	Occasionally overshares
Zillions of dollars	({crickets}}
An active and creative imagination	Imaginary fantasies of becoming famous
Oompa Loompas	Small children
Fashionable purple suit	Fashionably challenged
Has a fizzy lifting drinks floating room	Occasionally burps
Goose that lays golden eggs	Wants to raise chickens in town

Well, what do you know...?


What happens when I find one glove laying around...