Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dear Taxes: You Are My Most Complicated Relationship; Let's Break Up.


Boo. Hate you taxes.

WHY are you so damn complicated? Why do you require so many different and confusing pages where even the directions are complicated? We are simple humans.

And why is the IRS so dastardly that they don't even require a P.O. box in all areas?

"Where to File Your Taxes" (for Form 1120S)

Form 1120S
If the corporation's principal business, office, or agency is located in:And the total assets at the end of the tax year are:Use the following IRS center address:
Connecticut, Delaware, District of Columbia, Georgia, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, Vermont, Virginia, West Virginia, Wisconsin
Less than $10 million and Schedule M-3 is not filed
Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service
Cincinnati, OH 45999-0013
 (Any of the above)

$10 million or more or Schedule M-3 is filed
Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service
Ogden, UT 84201-0013
Alabama, Alaska, Arizona, Arkansas, California, Colorado, Florida, Hawaii, Idaho, Iowa, Kansas, Louisiana, Minnesota, Mississippi, Missouri, Montana, Nebraska, Nevada, New Mexico, North Dakota, Oklahoma, Oregon, South Dakota, Texas, Utah, Washington, Wyoming
Any amount
Department of the Treasury
Internal Revenue Service
Ogden, UT 84201-0013
A foreign country or U.S. possession (or the corporation is claiming the possessions corporation tax credit under sections 30A and 9936) 
Any amount
Internal Revenue Service
P.O. Box 409101
Ogden, UT 84409

The Oklahoma girls would say "raaaaiiiiinnndddduuuummmm..." (Say it to yourself like a Southern 22 year old. Fun, right?)

Being a quitter has the upside of taking Special Agent and I out of a higher tax bracket, yay. (Besides my joyful consulting life and the Baboos remembering who I am, I am glad there is an ONE financial upside to wandering away from the corporate world of 401ks and expense accounts..)

Sorry Uncle Sammy, we are getting a refund. It has been a while for us and frankly, we were tired of paying for other people who don't have to pay their rent, medical bills, or other nonsense the rest of we responsible humans are required to pay. Those same folks ALWAYS seem to get a refund and then use their refund to get a tattoo. Or new boobs. Special Agent and I pay off debts and might do something fun with a portion, maybe save some for a rainy day.

We will not get tattoos.
Or boobs (either of us)
Being responsible blows.

I had to mail in a portion of my return since those bastards at Turbo Tax did not include all of the forms I needed in their Home and Business package (and I even upgraded!). I was not about to pay another $149.95, so Uncle Sam is getting my 1120S via snail mail.

Damn. No envelopes!!!


A Christmas card envelope will do. It's a little festive, so I added Christmas stamps too. Don't judge, at least its in the mail, pre-Texas Trip.

Dear IRS, Merry tax season...to me!
Miss me while I am gone; i will try to blog from the Alamo.


Nicki said...

This was my first year doing my big-girl self-employed taxes. I very nearly shot myself.

Bushman said...

Taxes make me angry. I'm all for a flat tax. Then the budgets wouldn't be able to be stretched with all the money people overpay every year and let the govt keep interest free.
Ughhh! I took my refund and got a tatoo of some boobs. Does that count?

Allison Gill said...

Regardless how much we hate paying our taxes, we just can’t deny the fact that we have to deal with it. It’s a part of our civil responsibility. Just think that by doing this, you’re contributing more to the society.

Allison @BestDenverCPA.com